Mick Dundee and Other Tales

Today's lunch took much planning to co-ordinate; the Sudoku of Dates.

Kate is telling us that her friend Dan met Paul "Crocodile Dundee" Hogan on a flight to Darwin. They hit it off -- "Everyone likes Dan," says Kate -- and Paul Hogan gave Dan his phone number, with instructions to call.

So, Dan did.

Mr. Dundee asked him to call back later: he couldn't talk long because he was in the bush, hunting feral crocs.

Sometimes, I wonder why I've stayed in Melbourne so long...

***

Maggie, Kate's friend from home, is also in Melbourne. Maggie was on her way to meet a guy for a date. While waiting at the corner for the lights to change, an older very drunk man starts chatting to her. He then asks if she'd like to go out with him. Maggie politely declines and adds, "I admire your guts."

Just then, the light changes. She's midway through the intersection, when the drunk -- who had obviously misheard her -- yells at top volume, "I AM NOT A GOAT!"

Well, Maggie found this hilarious, and was still laughing when she met her date. The date did not see anything funny about the incident. At all.
Maggie went to the washroom to compose herself. As she sat through the rest of dinner, she could only think one thing: "This certainly isn't going to work."

***

Kate recently found out that Rick, her favorite fabulously flamboyant regular is Rick Stein, who wrote for Seinfeld. He's taken a real shine to her.

Recently, he marched straight up her at work and said something along the lines of, "You're a beautiful girl, but your make-up is terrible. So, I got you this."
Out comes a little bag of Prada make-up.

"Every girl should own Prada, darling."

And what was the highlight of my work day, you ask?
I got to speak French to a woman from Mauritius.

At least I'm making $21 an hour.