Sushi & Caravaggio

I’m out with a friend for All-U-Can-Eat sushi. He’s in love… with a couple people – as usual – but the newest lady is the current stand-out. He’s telling me how this time, he’s going to play it cool, not give too much away, aloof even. I feel the pinch of recent experience and say that tactic doesn’t tend to work out so well. He smiles and leans across the table, “It never works out.”
I drop my head and before I realize what’s happening, a big alligator tear rolls down my nose and splats on the table. Damn. Didn’t I cry the last time the two of us were out for all-you-can-eat sushi? Of course I did! At least I had the decency to keep it together long enough to make it to the curb of Burrard. The situation was different then – even if the issues are thematically the same – and called for heavy sobs, where the present one deserves only a few silent tears of frustration.

I dish out the general overview through watery eyes and finish with the ever eloquent and conclusive, “What does it matter anyway?”

“It always matters. It always matter, and it never works out.”
Small giggle.
The server puts the cheque on the table. He picks it up and chuckles.
“Shows what they know, huh?”
He points to where our order is listed at the top: 2 Adults.

“You okay there, Heartbreak?”
Sniff, nod.

All this ridiculousness because I was scared.
Which brings me to Caravaggio.

***

My friend Owen told me about Caravaggio, a famous Italian painter from the early 17th century. He and his gang would run the streets of Rome, rapiers at their sides and servants following close behind, moving from tennis court to palazzo in search of action – both romantic and combative. Caravaggio eventually ended up killing a man in a brawl and fled Rome, but it was the gang’s motto that intrigued Owen: “Without Hope or Fear.”

He told me he’s recently adopted it as his own motto:
“It sounds negative at first, but when you really try to imagine what life would be like if you could live like that, it’s very tempting!”

Without hope or fear. It’s worth a shot.

After all, there are only so many all-you-can-eat sushi places in this city.