Ali vs The Spider

My first week, I hear Sally say from the other room, "Hmm, I don't like the look of that one."
I went to investigate and found her looking at a modestly-sized, glossy black spider.
"What do you mean 'don't like the look of it'? Is it poisonous?!"
"...no. No, I don't think so. I just don't like the look of him."

And with that, she got the bug spray.

Thursday
As Sally's leaving, I hear from the alcove/hallway outside the apartment, "Don't like the look of that one."

But this is not a medium-sized spider. No. This is a hairy, grey leviathan with rage in his eyes.

I'm up on my spider trivia, though. Likely a Huntsman. Although big and ugly, they're not lethal. They are, however, not attractive and certainly not lovable.
This is not the kind of spider to write anything in a web in an attempt to save a porcine friend.
No, this spider undoubtedly subsists entirely off bacon sandwiches. He's just that kind of mean.

I was in and out of the house several times throughout the afternoon, giving him as wide a berth as possible in the narrow hallway. By early evening, I turned the light on, thinking that would move him along. Didn't budge.

It's now past midnight and I'm looking at him br
azenly sitting there. Maybe he's dead? So I find a little twig and toss it toward him. The reaction? He ever so slightly pulls in two of his legs. That's it.

"Oh, come on!" Maybe vibrations will scare him off, I think. So I get pretty close to him and do a quick shuffle-stomping -- keep in mind I'm wearing sandals -- and he runs... toward me. I scream my highest-pitched, girliest shriek, leap in a flailing manner over him, and unlock the door in milliseconds.

***

But now that's it. I have officially made a mortal enemy. I saw it in his eyes. He's lying in wait for me, no doubt, laughing in his spidery-way every time I scurry-hop past.