The Art Exhbit

March 5th

Thursday night. I’m doing front of house stuff for a couple shows on Hindley Street. [One of which – “Slim Limits” – is quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever had to sit through in my entire life. And I’ve seen Starship Troopers.]

Shane, the venue manager, is... well, he’s not exactly your average fringe festival employee. His cousin is one of the co-coordinators for the fringe; Shane has worked as a security guard and a bouncer, so he’s here as Hindley Street is considered the seedier part of Adelaide (to be fair, someone had been stabbed around here less than a week ago).

***

Next to the venue is a gallery space that currently has an exhibit of 50 plaster vaginas. The posters caused quite a stir when they went up around the city because the title of the exhibit – everyone’s favourite “c”-slang for female anatomy – was emblazoned across them in huge block letters.
But surely, the artist wasn’t trying to be controversial.
Right?
The city forced the artist to alter the posters (the solution: most of the word is covered up with sticker of “vagina” in a different language) and – surprise of surprises – he got buckets of publicity.

Just the thought of the exhibit is more than Shane can handle; it’s kind of like he’s 10. He can barely keep a straight face when he tells me I should really (snicker) check out the art (stifled giggle) show next door.

***
A slightly scraggly young couple is walking up the street. The guy has his forehead bandaged and is carrying a neck brace in his left hand. He asks if there’s an art opening going on around here; it’s his friend’s show, but he doesn’t know much about it.

Shane: “Well mate, there’s one a few blocks up and there’s another right over here... D’you know if it’s of 50 plaster vaginas?”
Dude: “Dunno. Maybe... Actually, sounds about right.”
Shane: “The one up the street is paintings and stuff.”
Dude: “Oh... (intense disappointment) Yeah, probably that one.”

And the pair shuffles off.

Seriously though, if your buddy’s sculpting dozens of vaginas, wouldn’t you have some idea?
Come to think of it, maybe not.

[Note: Thanks to SpellCheck, I've learned the plural of "vagina" is, in fact, "vaginae." I've kept it as is, as an artistic choice.]