Coffee in the City

Iain runs through his to-do list for the day:
1) Get coffee.
2) Try the tram route from here to work.
3) Find a place for tomorrow night.

"Sounds easy enough."
I don't have anything on for the day and decide to tag along. The tram route trial is quickly ticked off the list. We run into Iain's friend Chad shortly after getting to the city. He joins our party and, after hearing the list, suggests Iain add "Get drunk."
"Can it be on wine spritzers?"
Pause.
"Yes, but you may want to have that as a separate item."
Groan. "But then I'll have 5 things to do today!"
"You've already crossed off one and we can go get coffee now. That's two down."
"... Fine."

***

Chad and Iain are both English and are fairly certain their accents will leave all the Aussie ladies swooning in their wake. They insist it's proved highly successful so far.
As we walk through the city, they exaggerate their accents and throw in as much British slang as possible, stealing sidelong glances to see whether it's having the desired effect.

***

Chad and I are talking about teaching English as a second language. Earlier, Iain had been regaling us with tales of the roughness of Waterford, where he's from. And now, "Yeah, I taught English in Waterford: 'Please, try it with me, please. OK... Now, thank you. No, put the knife away. In English, we say thank you. Gooood.' That kind of stuff."

***

After setting up a room for the rest of the week:
"Man, what was the 4th thing I had to do today?"
"Iain, are you serious?"
Blank stare.
"It was 'Get drunk.' Possible on wine spritzers."
"Oh yeah..."
"You honestly would have forgotten to do that had it not been on your list?!"
Slight shoulder shrug.
"Wow, that could be a sign, you think?"

***

At Section 8, we meet up with a few of Iain's friend he last saw in Perth. One of them tells us how it was 38 degrees on Iain's first day in Australia and, a true hipster, he still insisted on wearing his beanie [toque] and skinny jeans.
"I'm English; it was to prove a point."