8 Indications of an Elevated Blood Alcohol Level:
1) Quadrupedal ascension of stairs.
2) Attempted removal of contact lenses 10 minutes after they've been taken out.
3) Illegibility of notes.
4) General lameness of legible notes, considered "golden" while in state of inebriation.
5) Escorting friend on 45 minute walk home after quasi-kidnapping attempt results in her missing the last tram.
6) Refusal of cab fare for return trip at 3am, in the rain, when there's work in a few hours.
7) Chocolate accepted as fuel for return journey.
8) Third attempted removal of contact lenses.
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9. Throwing things at passerby; laughing hysterically.
10. Telling girls in short skirts that they forgot their pants at home.
11. Crying; hugging; declaring eternal love for friends.
12. Walking up to total strangers and informing them that they are dicks on the internet.
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