Hoopla in Hogtown, pt.2

Oh, the humid sweltering heat that this city does so well! Mother Nature doesn’t seem to understand that it’s October and I should be able to wear jeans without being in near tears due to discomfort. At one point today, I even found myself lingering over a subway grate for the momentary relief provided by the greasy updraft (eww, I know, but it was really hot).

With a relatively open schedule for the afternoon, I started the trek to Bay and College to catch the end of a meeting Tracey was having with Kousha (for our piece – but remember, I wasn’t actually supposed to be in town). I was waylaid on my journey by a guy who needed a photo taken of him in front of Massey Hall. “Make sure it’s good; it’ll be in Monday’s Toronto Star.” Well, it wasn’t, Bernard LaChance, if that is your real name (ok, I checked out his website, bernardlachance.com, and it is his real name). Not that I was entirely surprised. As my friend Mr. B [a photographer] pointed out, The Star has a closed floor. They don’t just print anyone’s photos.

Pfft, not that I’d want my debut as a photojournalist in The Star, anyway. I mean, the only reason it can claim legitimacy as a newspaper is because it’s less laughable than The Sun. That paper still has a featured Sunshine Girl. In a bikini. Every day. The only things The Star has going for it are the crosswords/jumbles and that the classifieds are well laid-out.

The Toronto Star set up free distribution with York during my first year. The following year, U of T got free distribution of The Globe & Mail (on second thought, it may have been The National Post – and Google’s yielding nothin’). At any rate, a good newspaper with a world news section that’s always larger than their entertainment (see also: celebrity gossip) section, no matter what shenanigans Lindsay Lohan has gotten into. [Moncton’s Times & Transcript take note: although I may be pointing at The Star, I am looking directly and sternly at you, undoubtedly shaking my head. And quite possibly tsk-ing].
I believe that the disparity between York and U of T’s free-newspaper alliances aptly encapsulates the perceived disparity between the two schools. This is merely a postulated observation and, true to my status as a York alumna, I think U of T’s pretentiousness makes them look silly and somehow insecure. And no, this is not me being jealous and if you honestly think that, U of T Alumni, you probably should stop reading this anyway ‘cause you don’t wanna be late for the big Phi Delta Theta Trampoline Party.
Nifty!

But I digress.

I missed the meeting by minutes and was suddenly without any plans for a two-hour window. So I kept walking, ruing my choice to wear my blue ever-so-delicate-but-still-knit sweater over top of a t-shirt (I had no idea it was going to be so hot and I wanted to look cute, ok?). By St. George and Harbord, however, I was glad the 2^nd layer masked my thoroughly sweat-soaked underneath layer. Although somehow, with beads of sweat dripping off my nose, I don’t imagine I was fooling anyone.

***

As I turn onto Bloor, I catch sight of the jagged pieces of what is the ROM’s renovated façade jutting out over the street. Michael Lee-Chin – seriously? Crystal Age? Are you sure…?! Alright. I’m just sayin’… Gawd! It’s The Royal Ontario Museum; no one’s expecting it to be moh-derne.

When I was in Toronto last spring, the renovations were nearly complete and Holly [professor from school] told me in great detail about the soundscape-installation (sound-stallation!) her partner John Oswald had created for the lobby.

So in I went to check it out. And it was even cooler than the description – it also helped that the temperature was considerably cooler, too.

I know this may come off all snooty and not at all “hip,” but I think I like installation art. Oh dear! That statement made me cringe; I can only imagine your reactions.
Leslie Korrick, High Priestess of INFA 1500, why do you still torment me after all these years?!